Bidjibah

The mind is a wonderful thing… when we don’t exaggerate its importance. We aren’t only “mind” and in fact, it’s very difficult to explain exactly what the “mind” is. The scientific view tells us we are symbiotes. Made up of trillions of bacteria and cells which make up what we call “human”, and what we call “mind”. One step down the scale, cells and bacteria are made of chemical building blocks, then atoms, electrons, protons and neutrons, no different than the ones which make up the water, the rocks and the air. This brings a whole new meaning to the phrase “ashes to ashes, dust to dust”.

Somewhere along these trillions of building blocks, thought processes, memory, conciousness and unconciousness, emotion and imagination arise as different cells in the body, and perhaps entirely independent living beings, connect and comunicate. And we willingly give up control of our life to the chatter that goes on within us.

There are a lot of different philosophical, religious and scientific explanations of where the “mind” comes from and whether it is separated (dualism) or one with the body (monism), but this isn’t really what I wanted to talk about. I wanted to talk about regaining control of your mind.

When you think too much you lose contact with reality. Fear, anguish, anger, passion are real feelings, but in our (usually vain) attempt to control them, to shape them, we get lost in our minds. We think about the “problem” until our mind becomes the problem. We think so much that it physically damages us and our heads and bodies ache.

I find that when I reach the point of no return I have to shut down. Find a quiet place and forget about everything else. For me this usually means being alone. No computer, no TV, no cell phones, no tarot cards, no books even. Give up control of my life for some time and just be… breathe and let the emotions flow through. It’s unconfortable in the beginning, because we are not used to it. Gradually my heartbeat settles down and time flows once again at a leasurely pace. Fear, anguish and anger disappear, as do any plans and expectations for the future. They’re not real, only the moment is real.

People around tend to think I’m depressed, sad, isolated, when in fact I feel overflowing joy once the mind begins to quiet down. I feel the sun on my face as it rises, the light which fills the room, that magical hour when the birds sing louder than the cars. And I feel love, everyday I feel love.

This is how I move on.